Postgame: Vanquish

Ever wonder what kind of game Gears of War would have turned out as if the Japanese developed it? Welp, Vanquish is pretty much that game. Instead of the bad guys sinking cities with giant worms, they sink them with giant mech robots that transform from crab-form to bi-pedal form.

I previewed the game from E3 earlier in the year, and it pretty much turned out how I expected. It’s a third-person cover-based shooter with a ridiculous action movie plot and awkwardly bad dialogue that’s made even more awkward by the Japanese to English translation process. It’s also pretty damn fun, albeit a bit short.

I initially started off on the “Hard” difficulty level because a) I’m an achievement whore and b) I figure it couldn’t be that difficult for a seasoned action game pro like myself.

It was the wrong move.

I was making progress and got through the first Act of the game, but it was quickly becoming a joyless slog. Having to retry sections 10-15 times in a row has the tendency to ruin game flow. If you get this game, do yourself a favor and play it on Normal or even Casual. Though Vanquish has a cover system, it’s at its most fun when you’re zipping along from place to place at superspeed using your suit’s sliding ability. You will feel like a total badass sliding around like a cybernetically enhanced Steven Seagal and gunning robotic Russians down in the face.

There’s a couple of weird game design quirks that I didn’t really understand. For example, you’re penalized for using a melee attack. Hit someone once with it and it immediately depletes your shields. Not only are you extremely vulnerable, you can’t melee again until it recharges. Why anyone would use the melee attack other than to get the achievement is beyond me.

The weapon upgrade system also makes for weird gameplay motivations. Picking up a gun from the ground first replenishes your ammo for that gun to full. Any further weapons of the same type that you pick up will count as an upgrade as long as that gun has full ammo. What this does is make you want to hoard certain guns or else you’ll never get to upgrade them. Fire one shot off and you can kiss that upgrade goodbye unless you somehow find two of the same gun. Believe me, it’s a pretty crappy feeling to have that happen to you.

Other than that, the pace of the game is very fast. You won’t find many stealth sequences or “downtime” at all. There’s always Russian robots to blow up and large fights going on. The story’s nothing to write home about, but let’s not kid ourselves here. If you’re playing this game for exceptional storytelling, you’re playing it for the wrong reasons. The right reasons are if you want to blow the shit out of some shit.

Vanquish is a video gamer player’s video game. By that, I mean it’s under no pretense to appeal to a broad audience or people who aren’t “gamers.” It’s got everything you would expect to see in the 40 Year Old Virgin’s room – robots, guns, lasers, cute CGI chicks – you name it. If you liked any of those things growing up and don’t care about being judged for it, you’ll have a fun time playing Vanquish.

About Andy Yen